Opening the Heart

Use the metta, or lovingkindness, meditation to cultivate a deep sense of caring for self and for all of creation

BY: Sharon Salzberg

Meditation Transcript:
You can begin by sitting down in a comfortable position, closing your eyes. Sit with your back erect, without being strained or overarched.

Take a few deep breaths, relax your body. Feel your energy settle into your body and into the moment.

See if certain phrases emerge from your heart that express what you wish most deeply for yourself, not just for today, but in an enduring way. Phrases that are big enough and general enough that you can ultimately wish them for all of life, for all beings everywhere.

Classical phrases are things like, "May I live in safety. May I be happy. May I be healthy. May I live with ease."

You can gently repeat these phrases over and over again, have your mind rest in the phrases and whenever you find your attention has wandered, don't worry about it. When you recognize you've lost touch with the moment, see if you can gently let go and begin again.

May I live in safety, be happy, be healthy, live with ease.

Call to mind somebody that you care about--a good friend, or someone who's helped you in your life, someone who inspires you. You can visualize them, say their name to yourself. Get a feeling for their presence, and then direct the phrases of lovingkindness to them. May you live in safety, be happy, be healthy, live with ease.

Call to mind someone you know who's having a difficult time right now. They've experienced a loss, painful feeling, a difficult situation. If somebody like that comes to mind, bring them here.

Imagine them sitting in front of you. Say their name. Get a feeling for their presence and offer the phrases of lovingkindness to them.

"May you live in safety. Be happy. Be healthy, live with ease."

Think of someone who plays some role in your life, some function that you don't know very well, that you don't have a particular feeling for, or against. Maybe the checkout person at the supermarket where you shop, the gas-station attendant, somebody that you see periodically. If someone like that comes to mind, imagine them sitting in front of you, and offer these same phrases of lovingkindness to them.

May you live in safety. Be happy. Be healthy, live with ease.

We connect into these phrases, aiming the heart in this way, we're opening ourselves to the possibility of including, rather than excluding, of connecting, rather than overlooking, of caring, rather than being indifferent. And ultimately, we open in this way to all beings everywhere, without distinction, without separation.

May all beings live in safety, be happy, be healthy, live with ease.

All people, all animals, all creatures, all those in existence, near and far, known to us and unknown to us. All beings on the earth, in the air, in the water. Those being born, those dying.

May all beings everywhere live in safety, be happy, be healthy, live with ease.

You feel the energy of this aspiration extending infinitely in front of you, to either side, behind you, above and below. As the heart extends in a boundless way, leaving no one out, may all beings live in safety, be happy, be healthy, live with ease.

And when you feel ready, you can open your eyes and see if you can bring this energy with you throughout the day.

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How Stress Ages You

From "Healthy Horizons," by Dr. Mark Prather:

Everyone knows that stress can cause you to grow old faster. However, it was not until recently that scientists identified a direct link between aging and stress.

There has always been evidence showing that psychological stress can result in increased physical deterioration and risk of disease.

However, a pioneer study has actually now revealed that this relationship stems from the fact that chronic stress speeds up the shriveling of the tips of the bundles of genes inside your cells. This shortens the life span of your cells and causes them to deteriorate.

The main culprit in this process is an elevated level of stress hormones such as cortisol, which wreak havoc on your body.

The virtually irreversible effects of aging cells are obvious: muscles weaken, skin wrinkles, eyesight and hearing fade, cognitive ability diminishes, and organs fail. Now think about the last time you were stressed out for more than just a couple days or hours…

Maybe it was a major project you undertook or change in responsibilities on your job. Maybe it was a family issue or challenge with your kids. Maybe financial responsibilities were pressing down on your mind…

Whatever your last bout of stress was over, it’s amazing to think that those stress feelings actually cause your body to start falling apart, literally!

While aging is a natural part of life and there is no way to truly reverse it, these scientific findings certainly underscore the importance of managing your stress life.

When you feel the pressure levels around you rising, it’s not just a mental thing.

Your body really is taking a beating and breaking down. It's all the more reason to... keep those stress levels down, especially when life’s circumstances heat up.

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Looking Beyond the Mirror

The next time you gaze at your reflection, look with your heart — and discover your own brand of beauty

By Geneen Roth

In my high school, the most beautiful girls belonged to a club called the Kilties. The Kilties wore kilts and white sneakers and stood on the sidelines at football and basketball games waving their green and white pom-poms when the team scored. Our high school had cheerleaders as well, but they jumped up and down and got sweaty. The Kilties kicked their legs Rockette-style for a few minutes at every game, but their real job was to look long, lean, and beautiful. As if beauty could win the game. As if beauty could save the day.

As you might sense, I am the tiniest bit resentful about the Kilties. (OK, I envied and despised them. And as my friend Anne Lamott says, I was certain that God hated them, too.) But I have a confession: Although long, lean body parts are not included in my definition of beauty, I believe that beauty can save the day.

A wise teacher once said that we surrender to power unwillingly; to beauty, willingly. Think about the last time you were stopped in your tracks by beauty — a star-studded sky, a blazing sunset, your child’s gap-toothed grin. Notice how the things we find beautiful have the power to move us beyond our ordinary sense of self. Their loveliness makes the concerns of daily life click into their rightful place; we remember what is important. The fact that our thighs are bigger than we'd like them to be, that our favorite socks were the dog's breakfast, or that we weren't given that promotion — these all become what they truly are: passing concerns.

Beauty relaxes, beauty soothes, beauty comforts.

I'm not talking about the "beauty" that conjures images of movie stars with wide-set eyes, lustrous hair, a mouth as big as a small country. (Not to mention those long, lean bodies.) When that's your definition of beauty, you begin thinking that to be beautiful you have to look like someone else. So you diet, squeeze into clothes that are too small, and feel bad about your imperfections.

Halle Berry, who is considered one of the most beautiful women in the world, once said, "Beauty? Let me tell you something — being thought of as a beautiful woman has spared me nothing in life. No heartache, no trouble. Love has been difficult. Beauty is essentially meaningless, and it is always transitory."

When we define beauty by what the culture considers physically attractive and try to fit into that narrow ideal, we not only make ourselves miserable for an elusive goal, but we miss the point. Beauty isn't about someone else's idea or definition of what's beautiful. It's about the palpable feeling of openness and gladness you get when you see something lovely, whether it's a cloudless sky or a surprising act of kindness. Suddenly, everything seems more vivid, radiant, alive. That's real beauty. It's free for the looking and available every second, all around us. But to see it everywhere, we have to be willing to let go of our conviction that beauty exists in certain places and not in others. And we need to be able to appreciate beauty in ourselves.

During my weekend retreats, I ask my students to walk up to a mirror and tell me what they see. At a recent workshop, one brave soul, a woman named Alissa, volunteered to go first. She sidled up to the mirror, looking trapped and terrified.

"Tell me what you see," I said.

"I see thighs the size of a beach ball," she said. "I see eyes that are too small and hair that is stringy. I see a body that needs to exercise and a face that could use a face-lift."

"Ouch," I said. "It's painful just to listen to you. All you've given me is a list of harsh judgments."

She nodded her head. "But that is what I see when I look in the mirror. I am usually so disgusted by my body that I avoid looking at myself."

A murmur of agreement from the others washed through the room.

I said, "You are telling me what you see through veils and veils of unworthiness. Everything you see is colored by your judgment of what you think you should be seeing, what an ideal body would look like."

"Try again," I said. "But this time look with the eyes in the center of your chest. Tell me about this body and its particular beauty."

"OK," Alissa said, "I'll try." She took a deep breath. "I like my eyes," she said. "They have gold flecks in them, and a pretty shape. They have watched my children grow up and they've seen the turquoise of the Caribbean. They've been good to me."

"Good start," I said. "Now tell me more about your eyes. Look at yourself the way you would look at a work of art, and tell me what you see."

"I can see — oh, wow! — it's like I can see behind my eyes to something that's hard to put into words, something big. I can see wisdom there, in my eyes. I can actually see the child I once was. I can see joy. I can see beauty and possibilities."

Alissa turned to me. "Geneen," she said, "are you hypnotizing me?"

Laughter swept through the room. I said, "It's amazing, isn't it, that the minute we start seeing beauty in our own faces, beauty in our very aliveness, we think we are being hypnotized. We are so used to judging ourselves that when we stop feeling unworthy, we think someone must be playing a trick on us."

After Alissa took her turn, the others stepped up to the mirror — not thrilled, but willing to see what they would notice in themselves if they weren't looking judgmentally. And as one after the other walked up to the mirror, recited what they usually say to themselves (ouch, ouch, ouch), and then were able to look with their hearts, they were amazed at the beauty they saw.

Imagine how your days would change if you knew that everywhere you went there would be beauty. So a difficult day could be brightened by something as mundane as a stranger's smile. Imagine if, when you looked in the mirror, you saw what was beautiful instead of what you didn't like. Suddenly, you'd no longer be weighed down by the vision of yourself as a collection of imperfections, a burden that keeps you from being your true self. You wouldn't have to turn to food for comfort because you'd have all the comfort you need. It would be right there, looking back at you. Wouldn't you say that’s beauty saving the day? I would.

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Love Food to End Emotional Eating

The less you like food, the more likely it is that you'll overeat. So get ready to fall in love

By Geneen Roth

When my friend Ed wanted to stop smoking, a Zen master told him that he needed to love smoking first. "Create a ritual each time you smoke," the teacher said. "Take a cigarette and wrap it in a beautiful cloth. Go to a quiet place where you can be alone for a few minutes. Take your time unwrapping the cloth, removing the cigarette, smoking it. Notice how every inhale feels in your mouth and your throat. Notice if you like it. If you love it. If you want more of it. Only when you give it to yourself completely can you completely give it up."

"That's one smart dude," I told Ed, thinking of the parallels between smokers and emotional eaters. Of course, we can't give up eating altogether (and I never advocate depriving yourself of your favorite foods or even your non-favorite foods). But it's true that we can't stop emotional eating until we really love food. And in my experience, emotional eaters — those of us who eat for reasons besides hunger — don't actually like food.

I know I've just uttered a near blasphemy. And I know you're probably thinking, Wait just a moment, missy. My problem is not that I don't like food, but that I like it too much. That I think about it every moment. That I am willing to drive 10 miles out of my way for my favorite snack. That I hide the cookies where my kids won't find them. My problem is that I'm over the moon about food. I need to start enjoying it less, not more!

But think about it for a moment.

When you love something, you spend time with it. You pay attention to it. You enjoy it. And although most of us emotional eaters think incessantly about food, we consume meals as if they are stolen pleasures. As if we are not really allowed to have them, let alone have rollicking times eating them.

Last week I watched a 2-year-old eat a cracker. She took one, stared at it, then nibbled a corner of it just to see what happened to corners of crackers that are wet and soggy. After that, she tackled the salt issue. Licked it off. Took a bite, sucked on it for a bit. Her next step was to mush up the rest in her fist because now, she got to see (and taste!) an entirely new creation: a mushed-up, balled-up, saltless, wet, soggy cracker. In the time that it would have taken most of us to eat an entire row of crackers, she had not finished eating one — and she was positively gleeful.

In the days before I realized I was chubby (er, fat), ice cream was of great interest to me. Not only because of how it tasted, but because of what happened to it as it melted. I remember taking my spoon and running it around the edge of the bowl for the softest liquidy parts. I remember my brother and I making ice cream lakes, melting chocolate into vanilla and pretending we were forming rivers in our bowls.

Then I remember being told that I wasn't supposed to eat ice cream because I was too fat. Suddenly, ice cream became forbidden. Suddenly I wanted, needed, to have it. All of it. I was no longer interested in any aspect of ice cream but getting as much into my mouth as I could, as fast as possible. The hiding and sneaking started. The feeling that I was bad every time I ate it.

When the pleasure stops, the overeating begins.

For most of us, food isn't allowed to be itself: a source of pleasure, joy, nourishment. Instead, food is the middleman between feeling something we don't want to feel and numbing or distracting ourselves from feeling it. We don't eat for enjoyment, taste, or particular sensations, we eat for the effect the food will have on us. Food is our drug of choice.

But there is another way to live with food. It's called eating with gusto, joy, and pleasure.

A student of mine named Sunny tells this story: "Once a month I take myself out for a steak-and-mashed-potatoes dinner. I love steak — love, love, love it. But I don't think I am supposed to eat it. This doesn't stop me, of course, but it does stop me from enjoying it. So I eat my dinner in a hurry — as if someone I know is going to walk in the door, and I have to be quick before I am discovered. Then I pay for my meal, hurry home, and spend the rest of the night feeling ashamed of what I ate."

I ask Sunny what she thinks would happen if she allowed herself to eat with gusto. To taste every bite. To pay attention to what she finds pleasurable about it. I tell her the story about Ed and the Zen master. I ask her what she thinks her life would be like if she ate her once-a-month steak the way Ed was to smoke his cigarettes.

She laughs hard, and her eyes light up. "Eating is always a guilty pleasure," she says. "I feel as if I'm not supposed to enjoy food because I need to lose 10 pounds, and people who are supposed to lose 10 pounds should be ashamed of themselves. They should eat dry chicken without skin and salad without dressing — not steak and mashed potatoes."

Now we've gotten to the core belief: Emotional eaters and/or those of us who feel as if we are overweight are not supposed to enjoy food. We are supposed to skulk around, eating food that tastes like leather. Better yet, we should be eating astronaut food: freeze-dried pellets of desiccated vegetables.

Forget it.

After 30 years of working with emotional eaters, I can confidently say that I've never met anyone who has ever lost weight — and kept it off — by deprivation. We are sensory, pleasure-loving beings. It is not just calories that fill us up, but the joy we take from eating them.

We don't overeat because we take too much pleasure from food, but because we don't take enough. When pleasure ends, overeating begins.

Imagine what your life would be like if you let yourself eat with passion. If you felt entitled, no matter what you weighed, to eat with gusto. You may discover that foods you loved — as well as those you didn't — truly do give you pleasure, and there's no price tag attached. And that's how it should be. Why not be astonished by the crisp taste of an apple? Why not revel in the smooth texture of an olive? Since you need to eat to live, why let one moment of joy — even one — pass you by?

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4 Ways to Live Longer

Beyond diet and exercise, your thoughts, beliefs, and behavior can add years to your life

By Richard Laliberte

The hard science of medicine gets all the credit for staving off disease and adding on years. But practices that strengthen your inner life — your mind, mood, and sense of connection — count, too, often as much as any solution that comes from a scalpel or prescription pad. "There's good evidence that emotional, spiritual, and social factors are all important for longevity," says Gary Small, M.D., director of the Center on Aging at UCLA. Research shows that these four strategies help the most.

Let The Sunshine In

• What we know: People who have a positive outlook when they're young (measured by a personality test they took as college students) end up living longer, report two recent studies that followed participants for 30 and 40 years, respectively. Even at age 50, just feeling upbeat about getting older is linked, on average, to seven more years of life, research at Yale University has found. What's the connection? "Negative emotions like hostility and bitterness are bad for overall health and specifically for the heart," says Stephen Post, Ph.D., director of the Center for Medical Humanities, Compassionate Care, and Bioethics at Stony Brook University in New York. On the upside, women with sunny dispositions enjoy better heart health — over a 10- to 13-year follow-up, they had far less arterial narrowing than more dour women, a study from the University of Pittsburgh reported.

• What you can do: Become an extrovert — join a community group, try a new activity, strike up a conversation with a stranger. Acting gregarious can make you feel more outgoing, which is linked to a more positive mood, researchers at Wake Forest University have found.

Do Good Works

• What we know: People who volunteer at two or more organizations have a 44 percent lower death rate than those who don't do any charitable work, the Buck Institute for Age Research in Novato, CA, reports. "That's comparable to exercising four times a week," Post points out. Like working out, helping others seems to boost antibodies. "We're establishing a biology of compassion involving the immune system, brain, and hormones," says Post.
• What you can do: Sign up for Big Brothers Big Sisters or any other group in which you can be a mentor. "People tend to find greater meaning in activities that pass the torch to a younger generation," says Post. Maybe because their involvement is so rewarding, 87 percent of mentors engage in at least one other volunteer activity — and reap extra health benefits — versus just 40 percent of volunteers who aren't mentors.

Say a Prayer

• What we know: Regularly stepping through the doors of a house of worship may slow your progress toward the pearly gates by seven to 14 years, a University of Texas survey showed. Partly, that's due to the fact that faith communities provide support, and religious people tend to avoid life-shortening vices like smoking or drinking excessively. But even when you factor out healthy habits, older people who attend religious services once a week are 46 percent less likely to die over six years than people who go to services less often, a study from Duke University Medical School found. Attendance is only part of the picture; it's the underlying belief system that provides comfort and improves health, says Duke researcher Harold G. Koenig, M.D.
• What you can do: Bolster public worship with private spiritual practices like meditation and prayer. "The combination of the two is linked to the best outcomes," says Dr. Koenig. Even if you harbor doubts, join a congregation: The spiritual wisdom you'll gain may change your outlook — and boost your health.

Socialize (Selectively)

• What we know The landmark MacArthur Study of Successful Aging established that people with strong social connections enjoy better health. Other studies have since shown that this translates into longer life. But having good relationships matters more than seeing friends or relatives often. "The support of solid relationships boosts immune function," says Dr. Small. Marriage may be the most important relationship: Studies consistently find that married people live longer — about four years more for women, 10 for men, say researchers from the University of Chicago.

What you can do: Confide in your spouse. In research from Columbia and Yale, elderly women who'd had children and who named their husbands as their primary confidant reduced their risk of dying over the next six years. What's more, men lived longer (continuing to provide that life-extending support) when they felt their wives needed them.

Keep Your Brain Young

The glut of information on the Internet can seem mind-numbing, but the stimulation you get from wading through it exercises your brain, which may keep it more youthful. UCLA scientists who connected older Web surfers (all were 55 and up) to a brain-scanning MRI machine found that searching the Internet, like reading a book, stimulates areas of the brain responsible for language, memory, visual ability, and comprehension. But clicking through online sites goes a step further, triggering parts of the brain that handle decision-making and complex reasoning as well. And the more you do, the greater the benefit: Experienced Web surfers had twice as much brain activity as novices.

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7 Ways to Discover Joy

Find More Joy in Life

Many of us reach a point when our lives become routine, dull, and thankless. We lose our sense of meaning and direction. There seems to be a lack of purpose and feelings of hopelessness permeate our very being. We do reach a time when we are tired of being emotionally constipated and seek out ways to break this numbing cycle. The time has come to venture into something new.

Listen to Music

Select songs that will make you happy or if you haven't cried for a long time, select songs that will induce sadness. The release of tears will help you let go of what ever is keeping you stuck.

Follow Your Dream

If you have had a long term dream of writing a book, opening a store, moving to the country or running for political office, now is the time to pursue that dream instead of merely fantasizing about it.

Let Go of Grief

You may have been deeply hurt during your childhood. One of your parents may have died abruptly or you may have been abused. If you are having difficulty forming and keeping relationships and if you have had a loss or traumatic event years ago and it seems like it happened yesterday, you may be suffering from stuck grief. Seeking out a psychotherapist or an appropriate self-help group may be very helpful.

Change Your Job

If you have been working at the same job for a long time, perhaps it is time for a change. It is difficult sometimes to know when you have outgrown your current position and you stay because it is familiar and secure. However, the lack of new challenges is deadly for your personal growth and creativity. It may be time to move on.

Celebrate Your Positive Changes

We tend to focus on the negative aspects of our being and the positive parts of us tend to be overlooked or ignored. Tune in to the positive changes you may have recently made such as: "I used to be so reactive and now I am able to stop and think before I blurt out something that will be hurtful." "I can now walk for three miles without getting exhausted."

Give to Your Community

Volunteering to help those less fortunate than you will not only be appreciated by many, it will also reward you spiritually and allow you to connect with others who are helping and receiving assistance. This activity will move you out of the intellectual realm and into your emotional world.

Decide to Break Your Addiction

Whether you are addicted to substances, another person, video games or anything else, getting assistance and eventually breaking your addiction will eventually make you a happier, more productive person.

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How to Sleep with a Snorer

By Ellie McGrath

Love can be blind and, for a while, even deaf. I was somewhat aware that my husband-to-be had a snoring problem, but I didn't realize the extent until a friend he had traveled with presented us with an unusual wedding present: a black collar studded with little electrodes. Whenever my husband snored, he'd get a harmless electric shock that would wake him up — with the goal of conditioning him to stop snoring altogether. After a few nights, though, my husband called for an end to the torture, pointing out that a heart attack would permanently end the snoring. Like so many other couples, our bedtime rituals became reminiscent of Monday Night Football: swift kicks, sharp elbows, and time-outs. According to a National Sleep Foundation survey, twice as many men as women report that they snore every (or nearly every) night — 32 percent of men versus 16 percent of women. "The majority of people we see, study, and treat are men," says J. Catesby Ware, Ph.D., director of the Sleep Disorders Center at Sentara Norfolk General Hospital, and professor of medicine and psychiatry at Eastern Virgina Medical School. The majority of sufferers are women. Snoring can take a heavy toll on a relationship. A study by John Shepard, M.D., medical director of the Sleep Disorders Center at Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minn., found that the bedmates of heavy snorers lose an average of one hour of sleep per night. Dr. Shepard calls the phenomenon of partners being awakened by snoring spousal arousal syndrome. Unfortunately, it's not the kind of arousal most people crave in bed. Another study released last year, from the National Naval Medical Center in Bethesda, Md., found that when heavy snorers with sleep apnea underwent treatment, they and their spouses reported better sex lives and a smoother relationship.

How to Tell Him

An obstruction in the airway between the nose and lungs is usually the cause. It can be swollen nasal tissue, a too-relaxed tongue, fatty deposits in the throat, or a large uvula (that kidney-shaped object hanging at the back of the mouth). Snoring tends to get worse as people age because, like so many other body parts, tissues in and around the airway start to sag. The mid-40s and up is when snoring really becomes more prevalent, Ware says.

The first hurdle in dealing with snorers is to get them to acknowledge the problem. There's usually very little perception of snoring on the part of the snorer, says Victor Hoffstein, M.D., director of Toronto's Sleep, Nose, and Sinus Clinic at St. Michael's Hospital, and coauthor of No More Snoring. A man may not believe his wife, Ware says, but he'll believe his hunting buddies when they won't sleep in the same cabin with him. I personally discovered that a tape recorder did the trick. Tempting as it may be for a wife to withdraw to the guest room, Dr. Hoffstein says, that's focusing on the symptom, not the root of the problem.

Examine His Habits

If you live with a chronic snorer, take a hard look at his habits. Some simple changes could stop the problem for good. The vast majority of snorers can be treated with a lifestyle solution, Dr. Hoffstein says.Is he overweight? Being overweight is the most common cause of snoring, Dr. Hoffstein explains. A person who gains weight usually has excess fat deposits in the neck. The fat deposits increase the collapsibility of the throat tissue and can narrow the airway. Once men hit a shirt size of 17, they are candidates for weight-related snoring. Sometimes a weight loss of as little as 10 pounds can help.Does he drink alcohol before going to sleep? If your bedmate is having a couple of nightcaps, it may be relaxing the muscle tissue in his throat and causing the tongue to drop back more. Don't drink alcohol less than four hours before bedtime, recommends Daniel Loube, M.D., director of the Sleep Disorders Center at Virginia Mason Medical Center in Seattle. Some medications, such as sleeping pills and tranquilizers, produce the same relaxing effect.Does he sleep on his back? If he does, his jaw may open, causing the tongue to shift closer to the back wall of his throat, which narrows the airway. Elevating the head can help up to thirty percent of snorers, Dr. Hoffstein says. Another solution is to make him sleep on his side. One low-tech strategy: Sew a sock containing a tennis ball onto the back of his pajama top so that when he turns on his back, he'll wake up and change his position.Does he smoke? Cigarettes irritate and inflame the upper airways, making them narrow. Snoring is just one more reason to try to get him to quit.

Possible Causes of Snoring

Does he have a cold or allergy? If so, the snoring is probably originating in the nose. If he has a cold, he can use nasal decongestants on a short-term basis. But if he has an allergy, it needs to be diagnosed and treated.Is there an anatomical abnormality? These can range from a deviated septum to extra tissue in the neck. If you suspect such a problem, it's time to talk to your doctor about a sleep study or polysomnogram, which involves a one-night test at a sleep center (average cost: $1,200, usually covered by health insurance). During the sleep study, instruments measure heart, lung, and brain activity; breathing patterns; arm and leg movements; blood-oxygen levels; and how often the patient awakens during the night. The study can determine the origin and severity of the snoring. Depending on the cause, there are a number of surgical procedures that can be done. The downside of surgery is that it can be very painful — and there's no guarantee that it will work in all cases, says Ron Kuppersmith, M.D., a surgeon at Virginia Mason Medical Center. The various procedures, often done on an outpatient basis, tend to cost between $1,500 and $2,500, and are covered by insurance if there is an underlying medical problem. Another possible solution is a mouth device that moves the lower jaw forward, thereby opening up the airway. The device can be fitted by a specially trained dentist and costs about $1,000.

Could It Be Dangerous?

Does he snort and gasp in his sleep, then feel tired all day? When a person has loud-intensity snoring, it is an alarm signal, Dr. Loube says. It is important to distinguish between benign snoring and a dangerous condition called sleep apnea.

A person with sleep apnea stops breathing for 10 seconds or longer several times every hour, all night long. As respiration is cut off, and the level of oxygen in the blood drops, he wakes up briefly to reopen his airway, then resumes breathing with a snort. When you go from being fast asleep to suddenly awake, it's very stressful on the body, Dr. Kuppersmith says. According to the National Center on Sleep Disorders Research, up to half of all people with sleep apnea have high blood pressure, which raises the risk of stroke and heart failure. The majority also suffer from daytime drowsiness and are more likely to have car accidents than people without the condition. One explanation of why married men live longer than single men is that their wives discover the sleep apnea problem and get them care, Ware says.

Sleep apnea can be addressed with oral devices and surgery, but continuous positive airway pressure (CPAP) is usually the first medical treatment used. It involves wearing a mask or special mouthpiece while sleeping; a blower gently forces air through the nasal passages. If the snorer can tolerate sleeping with the apparatus, CPAP is highly effective. Because apnea is a medical condition, most insurers will pay the estimated $400 to $1,200 cost for CPAP.

Fortunately, I haven't yet had to sleep with a masked man. My husband's snoring has improved over the years without such dramatic measures. He stopped smoking and lost some weight. After he drinks red wine, he sleeps in another room. And I do have my own secret weapon: a little white-noise machine. When the snoring starts, I just submerge myself in the soothing sounds of a waterfall.

Sleep Apnea

Not everyone who snores has sleep apnea, but almost no one has sleep apnea without loud snoring. Data from the Wisconsin Sleep Cohort Study suggests that 12 million Americans suffer from sleep apnea, a potentially life-threatening condition that temporarily cuts off respiration. How do you tell the difference between benign snoring and apnea? Wake up and listen! If your partner snores, watch to see if he actually stops breathing, says Ron Kuppersmith, M.D., a surgeon at Seattle's Virginia Mason Medical Center. If he's totally quiet and the chest is not moving, count the seconds. The next morning, most people with sleep apnea can recall hearing themselves snore. Some feel short of breath for a brief period. Here are the symptoms:

Chronic, loud snoring

Gasping or choking episodes during sleep

Excessive daytime sleepiness

Car- or work-related accidents due to fatigue If you suspect that your mate is suffering from sleep apnea, have him see his primary physician, who may refer him to a sleep specialist. For more information, contact: American Sleep Apnea Association, 1424 K St. NW, Suite 302, Washington, DC 20005; (202) 293-3650; sleepapnea.org or The American Academy of Sleep Medicine, One Westbrook Corporate Center, Ste. 920, Westchester, IL 60154; 708-492-0930; aasmnet.org.

Finding Help

Breathe Right: Although it is marketed to relieve nighttime nasal congestion, it has become a popular over-the-counter snoring aid. Does it stop snoring? Statistically, no, says Dr. Victor Hoffman. Have I ever seen it work? Yes. It's harmless, so try it.

Nasal sprays: Decongestants such as Dristan shrink blood vessels and tissues to open up the airway. They can relieve snoring that is caused by a cold or allergy for two or three days, but continued use will make the condition worse.

Oral decongestants and antihistamines: If snoring is caused by nasal swelling from allergies, these medications can help, but they are unsuitable as a long-term solution.

Antisnoring pillows: These support the head at an angle that widens the airway. They help some people, but others complain of neck pain and headaches.

White-noise machines: For you, not him. These little machines make sounds that range from a waterfall to a windstorm, with the goal of blocking out ambient noise such as traffic or snoring. At about $100, they're cheaper than a divorce.

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The Healthiest Foods On Earth

by: Jonny Bowden

The most important consideration in constructing a healthy diet: Eat whole food with minimal processing. These 12 foods do the trick.

What is the best diet for human beings?

Vegetarian? Vegan? High-protein? Low-fat? Dairy-Free?

Hold on to your shopping carts: There is no perfect diet for human beings. At least not one that's based on how much protein, fat or carbohydrates you eat.

People have lived and thrived on high-protein, high-fat diets (the Inuit of Greenland); on low-protein, high-carb diets (the indigenous peoples of southern Africa); on diets high in raw milk and cream (the people of the Loetschental Valley in Switzerland); diets high in saturated fat (the Trobriand Islanders) and even on diets in which animal blood is considered a staple (the Massai of Kenya and Tanzania). And folks have thrived on these diets without the ravages of degenerative diseases that are so epidemic in modern life--heart disease, diabetes, obesity, neurodegenerative diseases, osteoporosis and cancer.

In Depth: The Healthiest Foods On Earth

The only thing these diets have in common is that they're all based on whole foods with minimum processing. Nuts, berries, beans, raw milk, grass-fed meat. Whole, real, unprocessed food is almost always healthy, regardless of how many grams of carbs, protein or fat it contains.

All these healthy diets have in common the fact that they are absent foods with bar codes. They are also extremely low in sugar. In fact, the number of modern or ancient societies known for health and longevity that have consumed a diet high in sugar would be ... let's see ... zero.

Truth be told, what you eat probably matters less than how much processing it's undergone. Real food--whole food with minimal processing--contains a virtual pharmacy of nutrients, phytochemicals, enzymes, vitamins, minerals, antioxidants, anti-inflammatories and healthful fats, and can easily keep you alive and thriving into your 10th decade.

Berries, for example, are phenomenally low in calories, high in fiber and loaded with plant compounds that improve memory and help fight cancer. Studies have consistently shown that nut-eaters have lower rates of heart disease. Beans are notorious for their high fiber content and are a part of the diet of people--from almost every corner of the globe--who live long and well.

Protein--the word comes from a Greek word meaning "of prime importance"--is a feature of every healthy diet ever studied. Meat , contrary to its terrible reputation, can be a health food if--and this is a big if--the meat comes from animals that have been raised on pasture land, have never seen the inside of a feedlot farm and have never been shot full of antibiotics and hormones.

Ditto for raw milk, generally believed to be one of the healthiest beverages on the planet by countless devotees who often go to great expense and inconvenience to obtain it from small, sustainable farms. Wild salmon, whose omega-3 content is consistently higher than its less-fortunate farm-raised brethren, gets its red color from a powerful antioxidant called astaxathin. The combination of protein, omega-3s and antioxidants makes wild salmon a contender for anyone's list of great foods.

Another great food: eggs--one of nature's most perfect creations, especially if you don't throw out the all-important yolk. (Remember "whole" foods means exactly that--foods in their original form. Our robust ancestors did not eat "low-fat" caribou; we don't need to eat "egg-white" omelets.)

There are really no "bad" vegetables, but some of them are superstars. Any vegetable from the Brassica genus--broccoli, cabbage, brussels sprouts, kale--is loaded with plant chemicals called indoles, which help reduce the risk of cancer.

In the fruit kingdom, apples totally deserve their reputation as doctor-repellants: they're loaded with fiber, minerals (like bone-building boron) and phytochemicals (like quercetin, which is known to be a powerful anti-inflammatory and to have anti-cancer properties). Some exciting new research suggests that pomegranate juice slows the progression of certain cancers. Other research shows it lowers blood pressure and may even act as a "natural Viagra."

Tea deserves special mention on any list of the world's healthiest foods. The second most widely consumed beverage in the world (after water), all forms of tea (black, oolong, white, green and the newer Yerba Matte) are loaded with antioxidants and anti-inflammatories. Some types (green tea, for example) contain plant chemicals called catechins which have decided anti-cancer activity

Finally, let's not forget members of the Alliaceae family of plants--onions, garlic and shallots. Garlic has been used for thousands of years for its medicinal properties; hundreds of published studies support its antimicrobial effects as well as its ability to lower the risk of heart disease. A number of studies have shown an inverse relationship between onion consumption and certain types of cancer.

A healthy diet doesn't have to contain every one of the "healthiest foods on earth," but you can't go wrong putting as many of the above mentioned foods in heavy rotation on your personal eating plan.

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Roast Lemon Chicken

From Country Living
This recipe has been tested by Country Living

A lemon inserted into the chicken's cavity during roasting keeps the meat moist and juicy. Seasoning the skin with zest imparts flavor and salt makes it crispy. During roasting, the chicken is surrounded with lemons. which caramelize into a relish-like condiment. Tip: Toss baby carrots and onions into the roasting pan when you add the lemons for a quick and simple side dish.

INGREDIENTS

U.S.

3	lemons
1/4 cup(s)	unsalted butter
1	(4-pound) whole chicken
1 teaspoon(s)	salt
1/2 teaspoon(s)	(crushed) black peppercorns
6 clove(s)	(large) garlic, crushed

DIRECTIONS

1. Heat oven to 500 degrees F. Zest and juice 1 lemon. Heat the lemon juice and the butter together in a small saucepan and set aside. Sprinkle the chicken cavity with 1/2 teaspoon salt and 1/4 teaspoon of the crushed peppercorns. Gently slide two fingers under the skin of the breast and rub half of the zest and 1/8 teaspoon pepper onto the breast meat. Cut 1 lemon into quarters and place it and the garlic in the cavity. Tie the legs together with butcher's twine and season the outside of the bird with the remaining 1/2 teaspoon salt and 1/8 teaspoon pepper. Place on a rack in a small roasting pan, and roast for 10 minutes. Reduce heat to 375 degrees F. Quarter the remaining lemon and place it in the bottom of the pan. Continue to roast, basting with a brush every 15 minutes with the prepared lemon butter, until the meat between the thigh and body (avoid touching the bone) reaches 167 degrees F -- about 1 hour, 15 minutes. Let the chicken rest at least 15 minutes to allow the juice to settle before carving.

   NUTRITIONAL INFORMATION (per serving)

   Calories	825
   Total Fat	63g
   Saturated Fat	--
   Cholesterol	269mg
   Sodium	815mg
   Total Carbohydrate	6g
   Dietary Fiber	1g
   Sugars	--
   Protein	57g
   Calcium -

COOKING INFO

Serves	4
Yield	--
Prep Time	--
Cook Time	--
Total time	1 hour(s) 45 minutes
Oven Temp	375

TIPS & TECHNIQUES

Toss baby carrots and onions into the pan when you add the lemons for a quick and simple side dish.

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The Top 10 Grilling Tips

1. Flavor It

When it comes to backyard grilling, there are several ways to add extra flavor to your food. The quickest way is with glazes, which are syrupy coatings often made with honey, maple syrup, or molasses that are brushed on during the last few minutes of grilling. Similarly, wet and dry rubs require little preparation time. Apply these blends of herbs and spices (wet rubs incorporate moist ingredients, such as oil, mustard, and yogurt) up to a few hours before cooking to create a savory crust. To more deeply infuse foods with flavor — and tenderize them, too — immerse them in marinades that are made with acidic liquids, such as lemon juice, vinegar, and wine.

2. Add Smoke

Whether you grill over gas or charcoal, use hardwood logs, chunks, briquettes, or chips to impart a smoky flavor to foods. Different wood varieties add subtle nuances; try applewood for sweetness, mesquite for tang, or hickory for a baconlike taste.

3. Create Heat Zones

On a kettle grill, bank coals in its center. Sear food in the middle, where heat is highest, then move it to the outer edges of the grill to perfectly cook without burning. On a gas grill, leave one burner on high, another on medium.

4. Get a Clean Start

Prior to grilling, scrub the hot grate with a long-handled wire brush. This keeps it clean — and ensures neat grill marks.

5. Grease the Grate

Prevent food from sticking by brushing the grill grate with oil. Grab a small wad of paper towels with tongs, then dip in a bowl of canola or vegetable oil and rub lightly to evenly coat the grate.

6. Keep It Separate

Use fresh plates, utensils, and cutting boards to prevent raw meat, poultry, and fish from contaminating cooked food.

7. Line It Up

When grilling, lay food on the grate in orderly lines, moving from left to right. Or for quick-cooking items, such as shrimp and scallops, arrange in a circle going clockwise. This will help you keep track of which foods hit the flames first as well as allow you to group raw items away from cooked ones.

8. Don't Touch

When checking for doneness, resist the urge to repeatedly poke, stab, or flip your food. Instead, give food time to sear and develop a crust; turn only when grill marks form.

9. Time It

Food continues to cook after it comes off the grill, so it's best to remove it just before it has reached the desired doneness. A digital instant-read thermometer gives the most accurate results, but you can also gently poke steak and chops with your index finger; the firmer meat feels, the more well-done it is. With seafood, look for opacity; well-done fish fillets will be opaque all the way through. For chicken, make a slit in the thickest part of the cut. Any juices that escape should run clear.

10. Take a Break

Let food rest before serving — a few minutes for small cuts, up to 15 minutes for roasts.



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