My thoughts...

There will come a time that material things don't matter anymore. I felt it now. Before, I'm always excited and happy over expensive gifts given to me. But now, what's important is that it as heartily given to me not out of an obligation...

I get tired of a cycle. There's no growth. I should end my false hope and expectations. I have made an ultimatum and expiration date to end my foolishness..

Since I can't push him away, might as well just go with the flow. I don't have to exert any effort and plan anything to get rid of him. I will just let it be..