Stupid me!

I'm so ashame of myself! What I said yesterday was something so stupid. It's something that I should have not uttered. It reflected that I see myself less. I'm ugly. I'm not worthy to be love. But it's true. I see myself just like that. I always feel second best. I always give way to others. And it's okay for me to get hurt. I have lots of inhibitions of what people might say to me. What if I'll hurt other people if I will follow my heart?

But now I've realized that I should give myself a chance to be happy. To follow my heart without thinking too much. Thinking too much! That's me when it comes to love. (sigh!) I have to loosen up. If ever I might hurt people along the way, I don't intend to. I want to be free this time. I want to be happy and not worry too much! I'm focus on that now. I am tired of always getting worried! I'm slowly getting there. Acceptance of this all is my first step to recovery! ha ha

Mr. Bean is coming to town. I don't know how to face him but I know I will face him. ha ha no choice! We will see each other eye to eye! Good luck to me! He is coming so soonnnnnnnn!!!!!!!